Message from the founder
Executive chair lady & CEO of Live&Shine
I was born in 1951, in Machakos County, Kenya, in a family of seven (7) siblings. I am a born again Christian and I owe all my success in life to God in Jesus name. My dad was an army officer who died when I was 9 years old and I was in class 3. Since then I had to work extra hard to get my school fees and to pay for my sibblings as well. I am now living in Nairobi County, the capital city of Kenya. I am a business lady and a preacher of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have come to believe that whatever happens in one’s life is never a mistake.
I started LIVE AND SHINE ORGANISATION and we have come up with many solutions that have aided in the alleviation of the lives of women and youth, divorced women with their families, the motherless children, silent sufferers, the young at heart, and any needy and deserving Kenyan.
One of those projects which I hold dear to me is that of divorced women and their children, the motherless children, youth and silent sufferers. My goal is to have divorced women , their children (sons and daughters), the motherless children, youth and silent sufferers to live a humane life full of joy and fruitfulness. This is very possible and achievable. That is why our motto is, ‘ We can do all things with God’.
I am a divorced mother. I am not a single mother; but a divorced mother. In fact my daughters and sons tell me never to call myself a single mother, because I do not fall in this category. I respect all single mothers for what they undergo, but there is a difference between a single mother outside marriage and one as a result of divorce from marriage. I am not a widow. I respect widows because I saw my mother who was widowed for more than 50 years and her children suffered in the hands of uncles who were trying to eliminate her and take her property. The same uncles were trying to eliminate me and my siblings. Especially my elder brother, but to no success. All in all, my mum refused to be inherited and lived to be more than 120 years. To the glory of God. Those who fought her and her children are no more and passed on before my mum. God honored her in the land of the living.
When she was on this Earth, being the fifth born child in the family, I took care of her upto her send off expenses. I made sure that she never lacked money, food, good clothing and shelter. In my urban home (where I built and live after the divorce and my new resettlement) I intentionally built her a self contained quarter for and to herself. I did not want her to share a room with anyone. She was free with me: she became my first born child.
I recall one time in the early 80’s I was working in the United Kindgom as a nurse and there was a famine in Kenya. Whenever I sent her help my ex-husband was never pleased with me to the extent he said he will never help her at all. Ironically, I took it upon myself to assist and educate some of his siblings since I was the only working partner in our marriage by that time. I have no regrets for the things I did. They are all behind me.
As a child of a widow I experienced some of the problems widow’s children go through. Especially economical problems affecting their education and harassment by extended families. I saw my mother isolated and rejected because she refused to bow down to pressure. By then I was only 10 years old. My word to widows :
‘SAY NO TO PRESSURE AND PUT YOUR HOPE AND TRUST IN GOD. LOVE AND CARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN, BECAUSE THEY NEED YOU TO BE STRONG FOR THEM’.
It has touched my heart to start this world wide movement to enable these citizens join me and assist others to live quality lives. It is sad to see that even in this century and day and age especially in Africa, to see persons and women living in grass thatched and muddy houses.
This must change.
I now understand what Paul says in Romans 1:14 (Amplified Version). It reads, ‘To both the Greeks and the Barbarians (to the Cultured and to the Uncultured) both to the wise and the foolish, I have an obligation to discharge, and a duty to perform, and a debt to pay.’.
In this world God has given each one of us an obligation to discharge, a duty to perform and a debt to pay. That’s why in Matthew 25:31-46, Jesus while on Earth said ,’Whatever good or bad you do to anyone, you do unto God Almighty.’ There is always a reward. He said, ‘I was in prison, I was thirsty, hungry, and without shelter, but no one came through...’
It could be a prison of poverty, rejection, denied opportunities, marginalizaion, violence, or lack of shelter. This is why my platform is long overdue , and with God’s blessings lives will be changed . Join us and have your life changed by the joy to change someone’s life to a better life.
As Mordecai told Queen Esther in Esther 4:14 ,’... who knows why you are alive as queen at time as this.’
Who knows why you and I are alive and are financially able at this time .God sees you as His asset not a liability. Your support can and will make a difference in someone’s life!
I also have respect for married people. I saw the love and care my parents had for each other. My dad was an army officer. He was rarely at home. He fully trusted my mother with all his resources including cash. I would know this, because out of the seven siblings I was the only one who knew where she kept their money in the house. In those days they never banked money. Unfortunately my dad was poisoned by his younger brother and died. We were too young and scared to take action against him.
It was what I saw from my mum and dad that I went into marriage with this background of what love and care meant between two spouses. But it was not to be, and I am very happy and complete being alone.
Integrity is key to me because Jesus my Lord died a shameful death for me to have honour. But when another woman tells me to keep the (matrimonial) ring and she keeps the man, I decided to give them both away! I got out of their way. I did not need to wait till death; for there will be no marriage after death, according to the Holy Bible.
I am a divorced woman. I have been divorced for 26 years, after undergoing a church wedding. That is why all the above groups are very different. I am neither embarrassed nor ashamed, but I give thanks to God. For He has never forsaken me .By the way let me make it clear, I do not need a job, school fees, a house, nor a car; but I need your kind and caring hearts. This is out of love for people who have touched my heart with their suffering in silence.
Whether you were chased or walked out of marriage it is okay. At least you are alive and can reclaim your power back and start afresh. As for me I, walked out after 25 years of marriage. I was physically and psychologically traumatised and I could not bear it anymore. I let go of all the bitterness, guilt and regrets.
My four children were quite young, between the age of 19 years and 10 years. Glory to God they have all graduated from university and are blessed. I sincerely thank God for being there for them. My thanks to them too. It was not easy especially to provide for shelter, basic needs , school fees and psychological support. It is a great shame that no body called me to ask how the children were, yet now many of them are calling me and my children for help. Society must change its perception and notion towards divorced women and their children, and the motherless children!
I know that there are millions of old and young divorced women and their children, and the motherless children globally. With my experience it will be inhumane for me not to recognise the divorced women and children; by giving back this wealth of knowledge and support. The fact that no one supported me, yet I succeeded does not make me selfish. Infact, those who never helped me are far behind me, but I wish them well. It does not matter how far down this message finds you, just remember God’s time is the best time.
Those millions of divorced women and their children, and the motherless children suffer in silence. They are isolated and are never spoken about in societies, communities, cities nor by governments. In some communities they go through rejection and stigmatization. Even other women avoid them. In my case, my women friends did not want anything to do with me. Their resentment, gave me strength and more time to concentrate on my children. By the time they wanted to come back and rebuild our friendship, I was way ahead of them. They now became irrelevant to me!
I have noticed the plight of divorced women and their children, as well as the motherless children .They are not recognised by nations. Yet there is recognition of the physically challenged persons, the poor, the old just to mention afew. There are even days set apart such as HIV/AIDS Day, Mothers Day, but there is no day set apart for Divorce Women Day or the Motherless Children Day.
Many may not know, but there are many problems which come with divorce and even being a motherless child. For example, loss of shelter, economic challenges (that lead to lack of basic needs), lack of school fees and psychological trauma, stigma, isolation. As such they go through alot of inhumane treatment and sufferings. As governments give opportunities to special groups in communities, divorce women and their children, and the motherless children should be accorded such opportunities . For example school fees, employment , funds for starters.
It is interesting to note that there are no statistics in any country of the number of divorced women and their children, and the motherless children. I therefore, suggest that divorced women and their families, as well as the motherless children need a tower of inspiration to enable them to enjoy their human rights. What divorced women and the motherless children go through is never recognised and no one cares. It is as though they do not exist. I am talking about those divorced women who chose not to remarry. For those who opted to re-marry whether old or young, I wish them well. Of course most ex-husbands remarry almost immediately . There may be many reasons, but the tendency is that there is always another secret woman during the marriage. In my case his was his receptionist.
The other group I have included in this platform are the motherless children. Why did I include the family-children (sons and daughters) of the divorced women? This is because when the mother remarries some of their children do not fit in well and become silent sufferers. With this platform they can find a shoulder to lean on.
My organisation which I started years back, has been helping such people in my small ways. I would like it to take a global statistics of the number of divorced women and their children, and the motherless children. This is because some children who are weak are really affected by divorce , where as some motherless children are left timid and helpless. Many suffer silently. I have met and still meet many, and I assure them that it is not their fault. I show them that they are to live a full life.
There are also millions of in a group I normally call, “SILENT SUFFERERS” globally. These are usually okay persons in our societies. They are people with good character excellent integrity and good in education. They are usually too polite, gentle, and opt not to ask for assistance even when in serious needs. They would rather suffer in silence. This group of persons have got high potential in their areas of speciality, but lack opportunities for gainful income. I am talking about people of diplomas to degrees level.
They tend to be the most sincere people in our societies. I have therefore offered them, “THE SILENT SUFFERERS PLATFORM”, in this organisation. It will be a platform that will help them actualize their dreams and also use their talents. Several of these persons have already benefitted from this organisation. We cannot ignore them, because they later became helpers. But we need more support to accommodate them. They need soft-starter loans , job opportunities, while others the setting up of research centres, health and maternal care facilities, start up companies.
They tend to be the most sincere people in our societies. I have therefore offered them, “THE SILENT SUFFERERS PLATFORM”, in this organisation. It will be a platform that will help them actualize their dreams and also use their talents. Several of these persons have already benefitted from this organisation. We cannot ignore them, because they later became helpers. But we need more support to accommodate them. They need soft-starter loans , job opportunities, while others the setting up of research centres, health and maternal care facilities, start up companies.
Why I am going public at this time in 2020? During this time of the global pandemic of COVID-19, the number of divorced women and their children , the motherless children, silent sufferers affected economically, has increased tremendously to the extent our organization cannot cope. This has led to the increase of lack of shelter and basic needs. Most of divorced women live in rented houses and with no income due to the lock down, and are suffering with no one to turn to. Many call me asking for as little as Kshs 100/= (That is is equivalent to USD 1 (One Dollar)) to buy food. Others suffer in silent because of the stigma associated with divorce in some communities. Some even go to the extent of cheating that they are widows. Others are in denial that they have been divorced or are motherless. Some result to wrong vices to forget their situation.
I try to reassure them that there is nothing wrong to be divorced or being motherless . Many divorced women have lost their lives or have been maimed because of the shame of walking out of the marriage. It is better to be divorced and alive for the sake of your children and yourself. They and their children deserve to live.
Many motherless children have no guidance nor support, consequently they fall prey to the harsh jaws and exploitation of the society. This narrative has to change.
Many of the silent sufferer go into depression and lose hope in life, accepting their fate in life. I am at view point where I am looking at the hopeless situation where the divorced women, their children, the motherless children, and the silent sufferers have no gainful income or whose income are below their needs. I also realised that divorced women work extra- hard as the only bread winner in their families. If given the opportunities their children also have to work extra harder to fill in the gap for their mother. This means that divorced women and their families contribute alot to the economy of the country. Unaware to many, there are great/senior/wealthy divorced women plus great and wealthy daughters and sons of divorced women worldwide. There is evidence of their abilities and hard work. I salute and encourage you my sisters and comrades! They too deserve global recognition. Governments should recognise divorced women and their children, and offer them opportunities as they do other marginalised groups within the societies/ communities. They should empower them economically as they do the other groups.
It is time something needs to be done urgently. Let us help the ‘Silent Sufferers’ live decent and humane lives. This is a global problem and not merely a national problem. Truth be told that there is no government in the world which can make you rich or successful. You have to work it out yourself. The only thing a government can do is to provide you with a favourable environment . Thereafter, you have to become a productive citizen. You do not need to steal or prostitute to be rich or successful. United we can succeed; divided we remain irrelevant, poor, and helpless from generation to generation.
I wish to welcome you to join me in being our sisters and brothers keepers and pull each other up.